Understanding invisible wounds

A wound in the heart—at odd moments, it aches. 

Most days, life goes on as usual. You don’t even notice it’s there.
But then something sets it off. You do or say things you can’t explain, even to yourself. A heaviness settles over you—a weariness you can’t put into words.

Painful events from the past. Experiences you would rather not remember.
The past you shoved out of sight suddenly shows itself.
It is etched deep into how you think and feel today, and into how your body reacts.

In your head, you know. So why do you react without meaning to?
It should be over. So why does it still affect you?

Strong urges that even you can’t make sense of.
You want to stop. But you can’t.
You know you should leave. But you can’t.

What, exactly, is this darkness you feel right now?
Where do these baffling reactions come from?

Here, I share what current science has come to understand about how these problems work. I also share my lived experience, and how the research connects to what I went through.

Topics on This Website

  • Trauma and Complex PTSD
  • Domestic Violence and Coercive Control
  • Addiction and Compulsive Behaviors
  • Different Approaches to Recovery
  • Self-Help

Articles on each topic are written in Japanese and added over time.

Through Both Science and Experience 

I have engaged with these topics as someone who worked in scientific research, and as someone who has lived through them.

What is happening to me, why it is happening, what would help…
Not all of the questions here have quick answers.

“It’s all your fault.” You’ve been told that.
Even when no one put it into words, somehow, you’ve felt it.
You think it isn’t entirely true. You also think it might be…

A way of seeing things that became normal before you knew it—because the people around you keep saying so.
First, to notice that. Then, to arrive at an understanding that makes sense to you…

Through the blog, I share the knowledge and reflections that can help with that, a little at a time.

Read the blog (in Japanese)
For professional inquiries: info@annakitano.com

Anna Kitano
Writer | Life Coach | PhD, Kyoto University