{"id":2077,"date":"2025-07-15T21:00:17","date_gmt":"2025-07-15T12:00:17","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/annakitano.com\/episode-1-the-voice-you-didnt-know-you-lost\/"},"modified":"2025-07-24T05:53:02","modified_gmt":"2025-07-23T20:53:02","slug":"episode-1-the-voice-you-didnt-know-you-lost","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/annakitano.com\/en\/marinas-series\/episode-1-the-voice-you-didnt-know-you-lost\/","title":{"rendered":"Episode 1 The Voice You Didn\u2019t Know You Lost"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

When being ‘the nice person\u2019 costs you everything.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n

There are times when, little by little, we start losing ourselves\u2014without anyone noticing.<\/p>\n\n

Have you ever caught your reflection in the mirror and thought, \u201cWho is that?\u201d<\/p>\n\n

Your career is on track. Your relationship looks fine. People say you\u2019re strong, dependable.And yet\u2026 there\u2019s a constant tension deep inside.Like something\u2019s not quite right, but you can\u2019t put your finger on it.<\/p>\n\n

\u201cIf I just stay quiet, everything will be alright.\u201d\u201cI need to be stronger.\u201d\u201cMaybe I\u2019m just too sensitive.\u201d<\/p>\n\n

You\u2019ve probably told yourself these things more times than you can count.But maybe\u2014just maybe\u2014it was never your fault to begin with.<\/p>\n\n

This is the story of Marina, a woman who carried those quiet thoughts for years.<\/p>\n\n

\n\n

When I first met her on a video call, she seemed as delicate as a snowflake melting in your palm.<\/p>\n\n

In a soft voice, she said,\u201cI don\u2019t know anyone I can talk to \u2026 I think I\u2019m reaching my limit.\u201d<\/p>\n\n

Her eyes looked far off, as if she wasn\u2019t fully here.And still\u2014she showed up. Something in her had chosen to reach out.<\/p>\n\n

I told her gently, from the bottom of my heart:\u201cI\u2019m so glad you made it here. Thank you for holding on until now.\u201d<\/p>\n\n

She nodded slightly, pressing her lips together.<\/p>\n\n

During our session, she shared that she wanted to build more confidence through coaching.So I asked, \u201cWhen do you feel like you\u2019re lacking confidence?\u201d<\/p>\n\n

She answered carefully:<\/p>\n\n

\u201cAt work. I\u2019ve been at my company for eight years. Recently, I\u2019ve been up for a promotion\u2026 and my husband\u2019s been giving me advice.\u201d<\/p>\n\n

The word \u201cadvice\u201d usually suggests kindness\u2014but there was a heaviness in her voice.<\/p>\n\n

\u201cWhat kind of advice does he give you?\u201d I asked.<\/p>\n\n

\u201cEverything\u2014how to make slides, how to structure my presentations\u2026 He means well, and most of the time, it\u2019s fine, but\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n\n

But the word \u201cfine\u201d didn\u2019t match the tension in her shoulders.<\/p>\n\n

I gently asked one more question:<\/p>\n\n

\u201cWhen did he start getting so involved in your work?\u201d<\/p>\n\n

\u201cEver since the promotion came up. He said, \u2018You need to take this more seriously or you\u2019ll miss your chance.\u2019\u201d<\/p>\n\n

The air seemed to shift.<\/p>\n\n

What looked like support on the outside now felt more like pressure\u2014tightening around her.From the outside, they seemed just fine.But who really held the power in their relationship?<\/p>\n\n

\u201cHow do you feel about his involvement?\u201d I asked.<\/p>\n\n

After a long pause, she murmured,\u201cI guess I just have to accept it\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n\n

How much resignation and helplessness were packed into those few words?<\/p>\n\n

I asked gently,\u201cI have a hunch\u2026 May I share it?\u201d<\/p>\n\n

She nodded quietly.<\/p>\n\n

\u201cIs there a part of you that doesn\u2019t actually want him involved in your work?\u201d<\/p>\n\n

Her eyes widened.\u201cThat\u2019s exactly it. I remember now. There was one time I said, \u2018I want to do this on my own.\u2019I was so nervous. And all he said was, \u2018No.\u2019Just like that. I never brought it up again.\u201d<\/p>\n\n

And just like that, her small, honest wish had been erased\u2014like it never existed.<\/p>\n\n

\u201cNo matter how hard I try, I never meet his standards. He says my brain is wired differently.He tells me, \u2018Why can\u2019t you do it?\u2019 \u2018You\u2019re contradicting yourself from weeks ago.\u2019 \u2018You need to focus more.\u2019\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n\n

Her voice began to fade.<\/p>\n\n

\u201cIt\u2019s my job, but all I feel is the weight of his expectations. He does help me, yes\u2014and at the same time, he\u2019ll say things like, \u2018This isn\u2019t my job,\u2019 or \u2018You\u2019re a burden.\u2019\u201d<\/p>\n\n

She no longer knew where to stand\u2014walking this uncertain path alone.<\/p>\n\n

I asked her gently:\u201cIf we set aside his expectations for a moment\u2026 what do you want?\u201d<\/p>\n\n

Her answer still began with,\u201cWell, my husband\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n\n

But her own wish\u2014her voice\u2014was missing.<\/p>\n\n

\n\n

If you\u2019re someone like Marina\u2014someone with a kind heart who always considers others\u2014 it\u2019s possible that your kindness has slowly silenced your own voice.<\/p>\n\n

Maybe you\u2019ve even forgotten that it\u2019s okay to want things like:<\/p>\n\n

\u201cI want to do this on my own.\u201d\u201cThis is what I think.\u201d\u201cI don\u2019t like that.\u201d<\/p>\n\n

Your feelings matter\u2014just as much as anyone else\u2019s.Listening to your inner voice isn\u2019t selfish.It\u2019s a small act of kindness toward yourself.That nagging feeling you sometimes have?It may be a quiet but important sign.You don\u2019t have to carry it all alone.Your voice matters, and it’s still there\u2014waiting for you to listen.Bit by bit, may you start to reconnect with your own voice.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

When being ‘the nice person\u2019 costs you everything. There are times when, little by little, we start losing ourselves\u2014without anyone noticing. Have you ever caught your reflection in the mirror and thought, \u201cWho is that?\u201d Your career is on track. Your relationship looks fine. People say you\u2019re strong, dependable.And yet\u2026 there\u2019s a constant tension deep…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_kad_post_transparent":"","_kad_post_title":"","_kad_post_layout":"","_kad_post_sidebar_id":"","_kad_post_content_style":"","_kad_post_vertical_padding":"","_kad_post_feature":"","_kad_post_feature_position":"","_kad_post_header":false,"_kad_post_footer":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[64,65],"tags":[70,67,66,68,69],"class_list":["post-2077","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-marinas-series","category-marinas-story","tag-dont-know-who-i-am","tag-emotional-abuse","tag-episode-1","tag-feeling-stuck-in-life","tag-toxic-relationship"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/annakitano.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2077","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/annakitano.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/annakitano.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/annakitano.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/annakitano.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=2077"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/annakitano.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2077\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/annakitano.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=2077"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/annakitano.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=2077"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/annakitano.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=2077"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}